A boozy Tom Zbikowski quits the NFL to become a firefighter

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Zbikowski should forget about becoming a firefighter and focus on boxing.

Former Ravens, Bears, and Colts safety Tom Zbikowski announced his retirement from football on Saturday.

Zbikowski was still seeking a job after getting suspended for four games for violating the league’s performance-enhancing drugs policy in September.

Frequently competing with a “massive hangover,” Zbikowski only amassed 126 tackles, two sacks and three interceptions over 64 games.

“I’m the only guy who can drink six beers, then spar 10 rounds on the same day,” said Zbikowski, 28, who pocketed millions as an NFL employee and prizefighter.

Taken out of Notre Dame by Baltimore 86th overall in 2008, Zbikowski was twice a member of the AP All-American third-team.

Although nothing more than a middling ballplayer, the badass Irishman is an extremely promising scrapper.

Since debuting as a professional pugilist in June 2006, Zbikowski (4-0, 3 KOs) has shown solid power and deft footwork in the ring.

The 5-foot-11, 200 pound Zbikowski, who compiled an amateur record of 75-15, worked with Hall of Famer Emanuel Steward during the 2011 NFL lockout.

Rather than training for the Chicago Fire Department next month, the Illinoisan should focus on becoming a star light heavyweight in the squared circle.

Firefighters are some of the most honorable individuals in the world and Zbikowski shouldn’t have an opportunity to battle a blaze with a “massive hangover.”

Clearly a somewhat troubled kid, Tom Zbikowski needs “massive” guidance more than anything else.

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