Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert will ultimately adore LeBron James in comparison to bat cave Andrew Bynum*450/012113-andrew-bynum-600.jpg

A joystick like Andrew Bynum could burn “The Forest City” as a Cavalier.

Bat cave Andrew Bynum and the Cleveland Cavaliers agreed to a two-year pact that could be worth $24 million on Wednesday.

Although only $6 million of the contract is guaranteed, Cleveland inseminated the pooch partnering with the 25-year-old Bynum.

A worthless freeloader who landed in Philly as part of a four-team, 12-player deal in August, the 7-foot, 285 pound Bynum didn’t step onto the hardwood once this past season due to a potentially degenerative knee condition.

Despite being removed from a hideous 24-58 campaign, Cleveland is an organization on the brink of rocking.

With Kyrie Irving, Dion Waiters, Tristan Thompson and Anthony Bennett, Cavaliers general manager Chris Grant has assembled a quartet of lottery talent.

Essentially fired as a 76er (34-48) by Sam Hinkie, Bynum is the last individual that Grant needs polluting Cleveland’s roster.

A legitimate, and superior, force in the paint when happy and mobile, the surly giant could excel working with Irving.

Unfortunately, even in a shrunken league where the invaluable center position is nearing extinction, Bynum is a bitchy gimp whose joints make him less stable than Amanda Bynes.

With DA Seth Williams playfully threatening fraud charges against the former 76ers’ red-headed bastard, Bynum is loathed in “The City of Brotherly Love.”

Gaining employment as a Cavalier, expect Andrew Bynum to become detested in “The Forest City” by Christmas.

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestlinkedinby feather
rssby feather
This entry was posted in Basketball and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply