Considering terminated Boston Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine is a terrible clowns pocket, juicehead David Ortiz deserves the benefit of doubt

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Bobby Valentine and David Ortiz have been embarrassments to the Boston Red Sox organization.

Terminated Boston manager Bobby Valentine claimed on Tuesday that juicehead designated hitter David Ortiz quit on the Red Sox after the team made a blockbuster trade that essentially sealed its playoff fate.

The 36-year-old Ortiz, who made his Major League Baseball debut with the Minnesota Twins in September 1997 and inked a free agent contract with the Red Sox in January 2003, permanently shelved himself on August 24 after returning briefly from a strained right Achilles first suffered on July 18.

Valentine, an obnoxious blowhard who is akin to rooting for the reemergence of polio, contends the gapped tooth charlatan decided to abandon his teammates the day after Adrian Gonzalez, Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford and Nick Punto were shipped to Tinseltown to play for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

“He realized that this trade meant that we’re not going to run this race and we’re not even going to finish the race properly and he decided not to play anymore,” said Valentine, 62, who has amassed 1,186 wins, in comparison to 1,165 losses, for a mediocre .504 winning percentage since premiering as a manager in 1985 with the Texas Rangers. “I think at that time it was all downhill from there.”

Theo Epstein’s longtime bitch, general manager Ben Cherington, vehemently denied Valentine’s remarks and defended the slugger he is near penning to a two-year contract extension.

“I wouldn’t be trying to re-sign him if I had any concern about David’s commitment to baseball or to the Red Sox,” said Cherington, 38, who was sadly divorced by ESPN personality Wendi Nix in 2010. “During a trying year, David was a leader for us on and off the field. Unfortunately, an Achilles injury cut his season short. It was a tough break in a season full of tough breaks for us.”

Considering Valentine is an unlikable clowns pocket who oversaw the Red Sox (69-93) worst season since 1966, it is safe to side with Cherington and Ortiz in this instance.

“Big Papi,” an eight-time All-Star and 2004 ALCS Most Valuable Player who has compiled the most ever dingers (401) and RBI (1,326) by a DH, became only the 49th player to crack 400 homers this past July.

Granted, the 36-year-old Ortiz, who, along with former jackass teammate Manny Ramirez, was publicly revealed by The New York Times to be a member of approximately100 ballplayers that tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, is a cheating weasel.

Nevertheless, the slugger Sports Illustrated named to its MLB All-Decade Team in 2009 is clearly one of the better hitters in the history of the sport.

In stark contrast to Ortiz, Valentine, although dealt a relatively poor roster and charged with the unenviable task of running a team comprised of brittle labia’s, is the primary reason the Sox floundered on the diamond.

In actuality, for Boston Red Sox suits, “it was all downhill” since last December when the organization made the asinine choice to welcome Bobby Valentine to Beantown.

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