Finally being ‘realistic,’ Terrell Owens should forget about football and go bowling

NFL owners don’t want to see Terrell Owens.

Finally realizing the end is here, free agent Terrell Owens will retire if a team doesn’t sign him to play in 2013.

Now dabbling in professional bowling, the 6-foot-3, 225 pound Owens hasn’t competed in an NFL regular season contest since suffering a torn ACL in April 2011.

“That’s just me being realistic,” said Owens, 39, a terrible clown’s pocket who has alienated six franchises since being taken with the 89th pick in the 1996 draft.

“I want to play again. I want to go out on top with a team. I think I can still play, but if I don’t sign with a team, it would be time to retire. I have to be honest with myself.”

Comically axed by the legendary Allen Wranglers last spring for a “lack of effort both on and off the field,” Owens has caught an astounding 1,078 passes for 153 touchdowns in 219 games.

A five-time All-Pro selection and member of the NFL 2000s All-Decade Team, Owens is a worthless statistics compiler lacking any concept of how to partner with others.

Still able to run the 40-yard dash in 4.45 seconds, no organization wants a deadbeat capable of destroying a harmonious squad.

“Just me being realistic,” Terrell Owens should enjoy some hydrocodone and go rolling at the lanes.

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