Finally being ‘realistic,’ Terrell Owens should forget about football and go bowling

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NFL owners don’t want to see Terrell Owens.

Finally realizing the end is here, free agent Terrell Owens will retire if a team doesn’t sign him to play in 2013.

Now dabbling in professional bowling, the 6-foot-3, 225 pound Owens hasn’t competed in an NFL regular season contest since suffering a torn ACL in April 2011.

“That’s just me being realistic,” said Owens, 39, a terrible clown’s pocket who has alienated six franchises since being taken with the 89th pick in the 1996 draft.

“I want to play again. I want to go out on top with a team. I think I can still play, but if I don’t sign with a team, it would be time to retire. I have to be honest with myself.”

Comically axed by the legendary Allen Wranglers last spring for a “lack of effort both on and off the field,” Owens has caught an astounding 1,078 passes for 153 touchdowns in 219 games.

A five-time All-Pro selection and member of the NFL 2000s All-Decade Team, Owens is a worthless statistics compiler lacking any concept of how to partner with others.

Still able to run the 40-yard dash in 4.45 seconds, no organization wants a deadbeat capable of destroying a harmonious squad.

“Just me being realistic,” Terrell Owens should enjoy some hydrocodone and go rolling at the lanes.

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