Resembling Precious at a svelte 308 pounds and training to make an NFL comeback, the New York Jets have reportedly had “some very exploratory, informal discussions” regarding former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell.
The 27-year-old Russell, who Oakland took out of Louisiana State University (LSU) with the first overall pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, threw 18 touchdowns, against 23 interceptions, for 4,083 yards over the course of 31 painful games.
The portly resident of Mobile, Alabama, excelled in Baton Rouge and finished with a sterling 21-4 mark performing under center for the Tigers.
The First-Team All-SEC quarterback capped his career as a Tiger by winning the 2007 Sugar Bowl Most Valuable Player (MVP) award.
Despite displaying the diligence of Jeffrey Lebowski, Russell wooed league executives with his size and incredible arm strength.
Predictably, yet regrettably for fans of The Silver and Black, Russell was never equipped with the needed testicular fortitude to thrive as a professional.
Since severing ties with the hefty disappointment in May 2010, Oakland has unofficially banned any player from wearing a #2 jersey to repress memories of Russell.
Meanwhile, the Jets, who already sit an estimated $19 million over next season’s NFL salary cap, hired John Idzik as general manager on January 18.
Idzik, a graduate of Dartmouth College and Duke University who left the Seattle Seahawks to join Gang Green, is extremely adept at massaging the cap and the Jets primary need is landing a serviceable passer to replace Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow.
Sanchez and Tebow are inept and the Jets must clip the duo, accept the enormous financial hit that will feel like a kick to the ballsack, and look elsewhere.
The 26-year-old Sanchez, who the Jets and head coach Rex Ryan handpicked with the fifth overall selection in 2009 out of the University of Southern California (USC), was finally shelved in favor of Greg McElroy in December.
In 62 career starts, the shopworn Trojan has connected on a porous 55.1% of his passes for 68 touchdowns, in comparison to 69 picks, and 12,092 yards.
Ignoring Sanchez’s hideous struggles, the Jets bizarrely gave their erratic signal-caller a three-year extension for $40.5 million through the 2016 season last March.
Shortly thereafter, acting quickly and without a shred of thought, Gang Green insanely decided to acquire Tim Tebow and a seventh-round pick from Denver for a fourth and sixth-round selection in the 2012 draft.
The 25-year-old Tebow, who the Broncos took out of the University of Florida with the 25th overall choice in the 2010 draft, became expendable when former Indianapolis Colts icon Peyton Manning signed a five-year, $96 million contract to play in “The Mile-High City.”
Despite throwing like a glorified version of Corky Thatcher, the winner of the 2007 Heisman Trophy led Denver to a 7-4 record under center and propelled the team to a stunning 29-23 victory in overtime against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoffs.
Inexplicably enabling the porous efforts of Sanchez, the Jets staff staunchly refused to even give Tebow an opportunity and the inaccurate southpaw will be axed within the next two months.
However, considering this is the Jets, nothing should be expected to fly smoothly.
Therefore, Russell should be explored as something of a reclamation project for the price of a Blair Thomas jersey.
Although extremely unlikely, if the bust somehow manages to find redemption on the gridiron, it would truly be a remarkable story.
As a rudderless franchise, the New York Jets could do worse than wagering monopoly cash on JaMarcus Russell and hoping a nice tale can somehow emanate from the swamps of Jersey.by