Greg Oden will become a member of the Miami Heat within three weeks

In a sinful city like Miami, Greg Oden can have as many threesomes as he desires.

After using the amnesty provision on Mike Miller, it’s more inevitable than ever that gimpy free agent Greg Oden will sign with the Miami Heat.

Although the Spurs, Kings, Mavs and Pelicans remain options, the 25-year-old Oden surely realizes Miami is the premier city to relocate to.

Capturing consecutive Larry O’Brien Championship Trophies last month, the Heat would benefit from the 7-foot, 285 pound Oden’s size and interior defense.

More importantly, on a squad of stars, Oden would face little Heat or pressure in Miami.

A recovering alcoholic whose utterly shot knees make him less sturdy than Ozzy Osbourne on Bushmills, the former Buckeye hasn’t competed in the association in 1,314 days.

Averaging 9.4 points, 7.3 rebounds and 1.4 blocks over 82 games in five injury-plagued seasons as a Portland Trail Blazer, Oden is a powerful force in the paint when physically able.

Unfortunately, the mammoth center has walked like Keyser Söze since the George W. Bush Administration.

Regardless, a solid gamble with zero drawbacks, Greg Oden and the Miami Heat will agree to a mid-level contract by roughly the middle of August.

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