Justin Blackmon needs to forget about the Jaguars and seek clinical help or he’ll drown in ‘The River City’


The Jacksonville Jaguars should be the last thing on the mind of Justin Blackmon.

Tipsy Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Justin Blackmon was suspended four games for violating the league’s substance-abuse policy on Tuesday.

The 23-year-old Blackmon, who caught 64 passes for 865 yards and five scores in 16 contests as a rookie, won’t be reinstated until Jacksonville plays the Rams in St. Louis on October 6.

Sans Blackmon, quarterback Blaine Gabbert will now be forced to target the immortal pairing of Cecil Shorts and Mohamed Massaquoi downfield.

Taken by Jacksonville out of Oklahoma State University fifth overall in the 2012 draft, an utterly shitfaced Blackmon was charged with aggravated driving under the influence last June.

A two-time consensus All-American, the 6-foot-1, 207 pound native Oklahoman was previously pinched in 2010 on a misdemeanor DUI complaint in Dallas, Texas.

Realizing the two-time Biletnikoff Award winner is a boozebag, the Jags wisely included a stipulation in Blackmon’s contract that will now protect them from paying his entire $7.11 million signing bonus.

Among the most anemic offensive teams in the league, Blackmon was coveted by Jacksonville as a speedster capable of spreading the field and moving the chains.

Regardless of Blackmon’s athletic abilities and feel for the position, it is evident that the troubled kid has a serious alcohol problem.

Dismissing the organization’s 2-14 record and primarily atrocious 53-man roster, Justin Blackmon needs to forget about the Jaguars and seek clinical help or he’ll drown in “The River City.”

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