Obese and struggling to defy gravity, JaMarcus Russell looks porous training at the TEST Football Academy in San Diego


JaMarcus Russell, that poor, poor bastard.

Resembling Rerun at a svelte 308 pounds, former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell registered a crawling 5.2 seconds in the 40-yard dash and a listless 29-inch vertical jump while continuing to train for an NFL comeback at the TEST Football Academy in San Diego.

Russell, who Oakland took out of Louisiana State University (LSU) with the first overall pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, is determined to run the 40 in 4.8 seconds and achieve a 33-inch vertical leap.

“I think he’s got some hills to climb,” acknowledged TEST CEO Brian Martin.

Russell, who threw 18 touchdowns, against 23 interceptions, for 4,083 yards over the course of 31 painful games as a professional, wants to get down to 265.

“I’m heavier than normal,” said Russell, 27, a codeine-craving signal-caller who was fired by Oakland in May 2010.

The First-Team All-SEC selection, who capped his career at LSU by winning the 2007 Sugar Bowl Most Valuable Player (MVP) award, excelled in Baton Rouge and finished with a sterling 21-4 mark performing under center for the Tigers.

Despite displaying the diligence of Jeffrey Lebowski, Russell wooed league executives with his size and incredible arm strength.

Predictably, yet regrettably for fans of The Silver and Black, Russell was never equipped with the needed testicular fortitude to flourish in “The Town.”

Since clipping the hefty disappointment, Oakland has unofficially banned any player from donning a #2 jersey to repress the memory of Russell.

If the disgraced bust somehow manages to find redemption on the gridiron, it would truly be a remarkable story.

In reality, and removed from fairytales, JaMarcus Russell remains “heavier than normal” and has “got some hills to climb.”

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