Representing all that is wrong with America’s Pastime, clown’s pockets Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Braun must be barred from competing on the diamond

Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Braun are cheating scumbags.

Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports reports that Major League Baseball “is honing in on Alex Rodriguez and Ryan Braun as two main targets” in their investigation of an anti-aging clinic in Miami called Biogenesis.

Passan writes that, “in addition to being the two biggest names in the Biogenesis logbooks, Rodriguez and Braun have in the past provided MLB with information about alleged PED use the league believes to be false.”

The 37-year-old Rodriguez, who acquired the bynames “A-Fraud” and “Bitch Tits” for rampantly abusing synthetic testosterone, has amassed 647 homers, 2,901 hits and 1,950 RBI since debuting as a professional with the Seattle Mariners on July 8, 1994.

Rodriguez, a three-time AL MVP and known adulterer who blatantly lied to Katie Couric about being a juicehead during a 2007 interview on 60 Minutes, underwent successful surgery on January 16 to repair a torn labrum, bone impingement and cyst in his left hip and could miss the entire 2013 campaign anyway.

Torrie Wilson’s banging companion is baseball’s priciest player at $275 million with five years and $114 million remaining on the contract from Lucifer.

Regarding the 29-year-old Braun, who has compiled 202 dingers, 1,089 hits and 643 RBI in 883 games, the Milwaukee Brewers’ left fielder found a technicality that prevented banishment for doping last season.

Braun, a five-time All-Star and five-time Silver Slugger Award winner, is a lying weasel deserving of a lengthy suspension.

Lacking the morals and testicular fortitude to attempt thriving on the diamond naturally, Rodriguez and Braun are two clown’s pockets representing all that is wrong with America’s Pastime.

For the betterment of the sport, Alex Rodriguez should be barred from Gotham and Ryan Braun must be blacklisted from performing in Brew Town.

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