Strictly using the free agent, quarterback JaMarcus Russell has zero chance to earn a contract with the Chicago Bears

Once a hideous specimen resembling Rerun, JaMarcus Russell has come a long way.

Strictly using Friday’s workout to update their emergency list, free agent quarterback JaMarcus Russell will not win a contract this week with the Chicago Bears.

“Very pleased” with immortal backups Josh McCown and Matt Blanchard, the Bears don’t want a fourth passer watching Kristin Cavallari’s inseminator.

Shedding 50 pounds to get down to a svelte 265, the 27-year-old Russell managed to attract Chicago as an insurance policy against injuries.

Selected by the Oakland Raiders out of LSU first overall in the 2007 draft, Russell threw 18 touchdowns, against 23 interceptions, for 4,083 yards over the course of 31 painful games as a professional.

A codeine-craving signal caller with a diligence comparable to Jeffrey Lebowski‘s, Russell was fired by Oakland in May 2010.

Once wooing scouts with his size and incredible arm strength, the man resembling Rerun is widely considered the biggest bust in league history.

A laughingstock without a job, Russell deserves ample credit for remaining focused and continuing to train hard.

Unfortunately for the toothless Tiger, it is unlikely that Russell will soon receive another opportunity in the NFL.

However, with newfound desire and commitment, Russell should seriously consider competing in the CFL or AFL.

If the native Alabaman can impress elsewhere, a team will eventually give JaMarcus Russell another chance.

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