The delusional Evander Holyfield requests to get bludgeoned by a Klitschko before turning 50

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Evander Holyfield has become a sad joke.

Shopworn former four-time heavyweight titleholder Evander “The Real Deal” Holyfield told ESPN.com earlier today that he is determined to fight either Ring Magazine, IBF, IBO and WBO champ “Dr. Steelhammer” Wladimir Klitschko or his older brother, WBC heavyweight titlist “Dr. Iron Fist” Vitali Klitschko, before turning a half-century old on October 19.

“Well my goal was to hopefully get another shot before I retire, and of course the Klitschko brothers – they are champions but if they don’t give me the opportunity then I don’t really want to wait any longer,” said Holyfield, 49, also a past cruiserweight titlist who captured a bronze medal at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles. “If I don’t get in the ring this year then I will retire.’

Holyfield (44-10-2, 29 KOs), who has been defeated in five of his last 12 bouts, hasn’t stepped into the squared circle since earning a 10th round TKO victory over Denmark’s Brian Nielsen last July.

“I am in shape and if they fight me this year then we’ll fight but you know I turn 50 in October, so if I got an invitation to fight by October then I will let them have it and I will tell them you can have it,” said Holyfield, who is utterly delusional to believe he can become a five-time heavyweight champ before mercifully hanging-up his gloves. “I wouldn’t get in there [a boxing ring] with a kid if I didn’t think that I could beat the kid, I am a winner and I realize that you get older but you are supposed to get smarter. The whole big thing is that it is not about the body with me. I haven’t just been singing this song today, when I turn 50, I said this when I was in my forties and when I was in my early forties. They didn’t want to fight me then and that is alright.”

“The Real Deal” is a warrior who deserves to be remembered as the legendary pugilist he was during his heyday.

Sadly, Holyfield has no concern for his health and the geriatric steadfastly refuses to retire and move into Del Boca Vista.

“Evander is a classic case of not letting go,” said Ed LaVache, the owner of the Boston Boxing Club in Allston. “For a lot of these guys, boxing is all they know and it’s the only way for them to make money. So, they keep fighting until the fight is lost in them.”

Holyfield, long a rumored abuser of performance enhancing drugs, was banned from boxing in August 2005 by the New York State Athletic Commission due to his “diminishing skills.”

Unfortunately, boxing is a rogue business and money is an even more sinister element in pugilism than it is in other sports.

Hence, Holyfield remains a somewhat active prizefighter.

Evander Holyfield couldn’t even compete with either Klitschko at this juncture and it is imperative for “The Real Deal’s” wellbeing that he stops “singing this song today.”

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