Unfortunately, thanks to the outstanding work of Dr. Bryan Kelly, ‘Bitch Tits’ Alex Rodriguez will now have an easier time returning to the diamond

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Anybody who roots for Alex Rodriguez needs to stare in the mirror.

According to Dr. Bryan Kelly, Alex Rodriguez had successful surgery on Wednesday that found less cartilage damage in the left hip of the shopworn, and juiceless, 10-time Silver Slugger Award winner.

The 37-year-old Rodriguez, who acquired the bynames “A-Fraud” and “Bitch Tits” for rampantly abusing synthetic testosterone, underwent the knife to repair a torn labrum, bone impingement and cyst.

Dr. Derek Ochiai is an orthopedic surgeon and hip arthroscopy specialist in Arlington, Va.

Ochiai explained why “Bitch Tits” can now expect to encounter fewer obstacles while attempting to slither back onto the diamond by roughly the All-Star break.

“They wouldn’t have to do a microfracture (procedure) or anything where they are trying to regenerate areas where the cartilage has worn away,” said Dr. Ochiai. “That will mean his rehab has the highest chance of successfully getting back to the level with his hip that he was before his hip started hurting.”

Rodriguez, a three-time AL MVP and known adulterer who has amassed 647 homers, 2,901 hits and 1,950 RBI since making his professional debut with the Seattle Mariners in July, 1994, has visited the disabled list six times over the past six seasons and also had his right hip fixed in March 2009.

“Bitch Tits,” a notoriously bush league clutch performer who had the audacity to flirt with two floozies while the Bombers were losing a pivotal game against the Detroit Tigers in October’s American League Championship Series, is baseball’s priciest player at $275 million and has five years and $114 million remaining on his contract.

Former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson’s banging companion, who batted a horrific .120 and whiffed 12 times in nine playoff games last autumn, has promised to make a comeback next season and refused to waive his no-trade clause.

Rodriguez, a 14-time All-Star who put needles in his ass to become the youngest ballplayer to ever crack 500 dingers, should be a man and retire to save himself from further embarrassment.

Unfortunately, Rodriguez, simply the most overrated baseball player in the annals of the sport, lacks the testicular fortitude to depart One East 161st Street in the Bronx with even a hint of grace.

Thanks to the outstanding work of Dr. Bryan Kelly, it is now more certain than ever that Alex Rodriguez will resurface in Gotham and continue stealing money from the Bombers’ brass.

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